I think it’s hormones that does this to me. One minute I’m excited about finding a parking spot near the house. Next, I am sad that I miss my mom and the weight of HPV crashes down on me. My longstanding fear that I won’t be able to find a job creeps in as I let me mind wander. Worry about my body and the weight I’ve gained and the belly fat that suddenly is a part of my life becomes too much to bear. I cry, I want to cry, so I cry.
It’s a plain and simple spiral. I’m going to be fine, but it’s hard for me to believe that during the fall. All I can think is that I’m not doing enough. Maybe I really am not doing enough. But I will be fine. I have to remember to step back and take in the big picture. I need to zoom out of my tunnel vision and look down on earth from a distant galaxy. No one there can see me. I’m insignificant. So I ate some oreos, so what?
snowhiteice 